When inspired to write these thoughts the word sweetness came to my mind, after watching an event with the absence of kindness. Why sweetness? I asked – sensing that a majority of us still see’s sweetness as some kind of weakness.
I took sweetness as it evoked me melting barriers, being receptive and open. A kind of intelligence at the service of something higher, allowing things to emerge, keeping us open and wanting to participative. Being aware that we have an impact and aiming at having a positive impact.
The word sweetness brought me the wisdom of silence, where we can observe our mental chat towards something we believe is inappropriate or wrong.
Sweetness is all we need. And from the moment we plant it inside of us it grows.
When it grows in me I sense a kind of new space that allows me to observe and establish connections. By observing I mean observe without allowing any voice of judgment or fear impulses to contaminate my perceptions. And in the experience I’m about to share sweetness invited me to observe the relationship that surrounded me simultaneously as structures and fluid content. Yes, that’s what sweetness offered me. And this experience helped me and strengthen my ability to understand and deal with what is completely contrary to what I like and believe is true. This was beyond being right or wrong.
Let me give you the real experience.
Every Monday I work as voluntary in a primary school guiding mini sessions of mediation with children (6 to 7 years old). Words are small to contain what I receive with this work and how much I gain by being there with them playing breathing and movement, supporting magic journeys into their colourful inner world. Helping them to connect with their deepest sources of creativity.
I also learn a lot from teachers, one of our many adult shapes, that function as structures to the development of future behaviours.
In what is related with adult-children relationship, independent of being a mother or a friend of any relative, I feel we should act as much as neutral as possible and not opt to invade and fill children’s inner world.
As a mom I offer my best to keep myself with the first option. And I find strengths to surpass the instinct to fill a soul who I believe has already everything that he needs. I recall my self often that I can only offer support, and mostly do the less possible damage. I will probably do some, since there is no manual.
This meditation work with those children and 5 different teachers gives me a kind of lab to observe the impact of this adult choices on those beautiful “seeds”.
All classes have a variety of behaviours, shy, sweet and quite, to the almost “terrorists” children.
Those teachers who invite kindness to give space to their energetic students and their unpredictability are able to support my work to create some quietness within the natural improbability of doing it for more than 1 minute, or less. Regarding those teachers who keep a kind of invasive relationship, always yelling and telling their students how to seat, walk, talk, and often yelling, generate a very challenging environment for me to do my work.
I recall a session where kids where all quiet with eyes closed while doing a guided meditation and when I evoked the sense of flying and flowing one kid started to move its hands like they where flying and suddenly in the middle of the silence a heard “stop doing that the teacher (me) told you to be quiet”. All the quietness disappeared.
Ok. Whatever happens its what is supposed to happen. So I pulled my self to sense and observe these relationships, and after a few weeks it was possible to spot the same invasive pattern between children. “Don´t seat there” Do this” “Don’t do that ” “Don’t go there”. Girls and boys giving orders to each other, and sometimes leading to a fight, when one doesn’t like to be told what to, and the teacher desperately yelling with them.
Looking at this experience, I saw teachers simultaneously as structures (role) and fluid content (individual), and broadening more the perspective I link the ability to create best future possibilities by paying more attention to the fluid content, as it is related with our ability to hold space. The future needs space to unfold by itself.
Its easy to transfer these same behaviours to other adult shapes, the impulse to fill with existent knowledge, to confirm what we already know and to control events. And its also natural to raise other questions such as ‘how does this behaviours impact on our collective creative abilities to build a better future?
Maybe changing the way we look at sweetness and kindness could help to change some of those behaviours that block the new from emerging. Maybe we should all invite kindness to become a common guiding principle in our relationships.
Thank you for listening.